For those of you zero-GK people who don’t know what or where Vostok is, well it’s a place in Antarctica…arguably the coldest place in the world at -128.6 F. To tell you the truth, I didn’t know where Antarctica was, leave alone Vostok ;) until a few minutes back, when I Googled. Okay…just to shut up folks who’d doubt my IQ again, I’m kidding. I just did a search on the Vostok bit.
Coming to the point, the distressing reality is, I am as far from Vostok as Bhatinda is from Banff. Does that make you empathetic? I really don’t care even if you role your eyes and laugh up your sleeve. For all my Bangalore friends…yep, you are having better days now, but Doomsday isn’t far. You all will soon sweat litres digging into a fish steak at 20 Feet High…SO BEST OF LUCK!
What unequaled sadism! I never imagined I was capable of such venom. But for that matter, I never realized so many things. I never realized life could go on at 104 F…I never realized power-cuts could happen regularly at 6 in the morning as a wake-up call…I never realized every time a religious procession passed, some cretin at the power station could switch off the entire power-supply, and when shouted at, would say ‘Ay yo Saami’…I never realized I had so many pores on my face that would ooze unending body fluid, until summer…a big thank you to Chennai for all this.
This post comes at a time when I should have been completely numb with the Chennai heat…after having suffered it for 3 years. But unfortunately for me and Chennai lovers, I still spend my days here foolishly hoping for beat-the-heat solutions like a huge barrel of Heineken and a larger-than life ice pack which I can use as a substitute for that uncomfortably warm mattress. And of course, I dream of Vostok…rolling in the snow, sharing my food with Adelie penguins.
Coming to the point, the distressing reality is, I am as far from Vostok as Bhatinda is from Banff. Does that make you empathetic? I really don’t care even if you role your eyes and laugh up your sleeve. For all my Bangalore friends…yep, you are having better days now, but Doomsday isn’t far. You all will soon sweat litres digging into a fish steak at 20 Feet High…SO BEST OF LUCK!
What unequaled sadism! I never imagined I was capable of such venom. But for that matter, I never realized so many things. I never realized life could go on at 104 F…I never realized power-cuts could happen regularly at 6 in the morning as a wake-up call…I never realized every time a religious procession passed, some cretin at the power station could switch off the entire power-supply, and when shouted at, would say ‘Ay yo Saami’…I never realized I had so many pores on my face that would ooze unending body fluid, until summer…a big thank you to Chennai for all this.
This post comes at a time when I should have been completely numb with the Chennai heat…after having suffered it for 3 years. But unfortunately for me and Chennai lovers, I still spend my days here foolishly hoping for beat-the-heat solutions like a huge barrel of Heineken and a larger-than life ice pack which I can use as a substitute for that uncomfortably warm mattress. And of course, I dream of Vostok…rolling in the snow, sharing my food with Adelie penguins.
4 comments:
sydney drops to 5 in the evenings- and its not winter yet, I am told. I hate it, and wanna be back sweating like a pig in hyderabad's 43 degrees. Your grass is greener.
But what the heck...the grass may be greener on the other side...but as they say 'at least you don't have to mow it'
:-D such a cool read about the warmth!!
Btw, the "larger than life ice-pack" as a mattress idea has activated my 'mostly-inactive-creative brain cells in the middle of a sucky office day!
What if someone invents an electric mattress that turn into a water bed by the day and can freeze at night? What a brilliant thought, i say.
PS: Dont even think of patenting this!! But something tells me the Japanese will have a version of this already!
sorry for the heat
Kolkata is grey with clouds and as wet as an umbrella
but Vostok will always be interesting cause you might be featured in the next Nat Geo docu feature...may be start the Vostok Matriarchy civilization
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